The Pilot

So here I am. Trying to reconnect with this other side of me. Sensible, vulnerable, affectionate, and coward and weak. The character that I left long time ago. The person that left me scars. For years, I covered it up with laughter and smiles. I became a party animal. I think the part of myself that is consistent is my being easy-go-lucky. Which led me nowhere. Unplanned relationships. Unaccomplished goals. Good side is, I’ve scratched some of the adventure side on my bucket list. Fly the aircraft, scuba dive, travel , 3k run, moonlight hash. Sounds fun, isn’t it? And the parties and outdoor activities, friends, happy hours, late night sobering hang-outs, busy weekends, made life awesome for awhile. But something is missing, and I can’t quite figure it out. I know I love to have fun. And there is also a part of me that loves to love. But I kinda lost that somehow. And now here I am, trying to reconnect to that part of me.